As I’m sitting here in complete awe, wonder, and insanely deep gratitude for the new life growing inside of me, I often reflect on the events that brought me here with my growing rainbow baby. After losing our son Michael last year, I experienced a whirlwind of emotions – many of which were so ugly and scary my heart literally aches when I think about it or imagine another mother in the same situation. Nevertheless, even with all the ugly, so much beauty and growth came from that time in my life.