As I approached the day we would meet our rainbow baby, I felt increasingly anxious and ((hello)) scared. My heart was broken from losing our son last year and I didn’t know if reading birth stories was going to help or hurt – did I really want to know about other peoples birthing pains? Close calls and interventions? Surely it would just freak me out even more…. Eh, I normally loved birth stories so I went ahead and read a few. Actually, the more I read, the more relaxed I became. I can’t tell you how many I consumed in the weeks leading up to her birth! These stories not…
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Inhale Trust, Exhale Fear
At 37 weeks along with our sweet rainbow baby and just a couple of months away from moving our little family across the country, my anxiety levels are reaching all time highs. Though I am a relatively quiet worrier, I internalize a lot of what’s going on around me and I have mini freak outs in my head.
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Happy Heavenly Birthday + A Note to Grieving Mothers After a Miscarriage or Stillbirth
Earlier this month was our sweet baby boy’s first birthday in heaven. I really can’t believe it’s already been a year… the shortest, yet longest year of my life, for many reasons. Though we never got to bring him home, have him wear all the “little brother” shirts we had gotten for him, or snuggle on the couch as a family, we will forever hold him in our hearts and we can smile knowing he is beyond happy in heaven. I’ll be totally honest, the weeks surrounding his birthday left me emotionally drained.
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Pregnancy After Loss // Expecting Our Rainbow Baby
As I’m sitting here in complete awe, wonder, and insanely deep gratitude for the new life growing inside of me, I often reflect on the events that brought me here with my growing rainbow baby. After losing our son Michael last year, I experienced a whirlwind of emotions – many of which were so ugly and scary my heart literally aches when I think about it or imagine another mother in the same situation. Nevertheless, even with all the ugly, so much beauty and growth came from that time in my life.
